Led Zeppelin vs. Black Sabbath Celebrity Deathmatch

A poster to the Black Sabbath mailing list was concerned with the outrageous absence of any BS member from the top 50 guitar, drum, or bass players of all time. He was further concerned about how Zeppelin got in way ahead of just about everyone else. I think the only way for BS to regain its rightful honor is to challenge Zeppelin to a celebrity deathmatch. A brawl between the two teams will produce some interesting matchups:

Bill Ward vs. John Bonham

Although Ward has had some health problems of late, he's back in training and is almost 100% again. In spite of his health issues, I think he'll have the decided advantage over John Bonham, who is *dead.*

Geezer Butler vs. John Paul Jones

Jones posesses a wider range of skills, due to his days as a session man, but Butler hits quite a bit harder. If Geezer can land a few solid punches, JP will be out of action. Once he's on the ropes, Ward (who won't have that much to do with a dead guy) will be able to hold him down as Geezer pummels him senseless.

Tony Iommi vs. Jimmy Page

My money is on the Italian southpaw. He's been a lifelong brawler and has got quite a few tricks up the sleeves of his leather jacket. Page is way out of it, as he's been spending too much time in pop and not enough recently in sharpening his hard rock fighting styles. Page will be down and out, possibly dead, before Butler and Ward finish off Jones for good.

Ozzy Osbourne vs. Robert Plant

This is the one to watch. Ozzy has been accused of reading his moves off a teleprompter of late, although his manager denies it. If Plant can block Ozzy's view of the teleprompter, the Sabster will be in some serious trouble. In a one-on-one, Plant would have the decided edge, but once the rest of Zeppelin is used to wipe the floor clean, Ozzy's bandmates will leave Plant drawn and quartered.

My prediction is Black Sabbath: 4, Led Zeppelin: 0. No fatalities for the Birmingham Bombers and every one of them walks out alive after 30 minutes. Should be an interesting card.

As a side note, it would be interesting to wonder what would have happened back in, say, 1975, when Zeppelin was in much better shape, particularly Bonham, who was alive at the time. (Mental note: never show up to a deathmatch already dead. It may hurt less that way, but you will lose.)